[Theo Von Quotes]
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Quotes by Comedian Theo Von
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"Yeah 'cause some people say snow is just gay water."
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E494 Dustin Poirier
"I kind of came up with this new idea in my life recently, which is that your feelings are like fire and you warm yourself by them. You sit by the fire of the feeling, you don't get in it and let it burn you, but you also don't go away because it's it's hot."
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#611 - Louis C.K.
"It's just nice when people laugh. I feel OK, yeah."
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#651 - Ella Langley
"Just knocking up people and just blasting rockets in the people and in the space."
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#647 - Dr. Peter McCullough
"You can't buy an island."
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#643 - Ray
"Shout out Guinea pigs, all of them."
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#647 - Dr. Peter McCullough
"This is a horrible conversation to be in, dude."
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#643 - Ray
"I'm realizing that you're like a smart guy stuck in a good looking guy."
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#640 - Chris Hemsworth
"Isn’t it nice that the sun doesn’t remember what you did yesterday? It just knows today’s a new day."
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[reference]
"You know a lot of people smoke crack on St. Patrick’s Day. And it has nothing to do with being Irish or anything or nothing about luck."
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[reference]
"The musician Sidney Sweeney, who's probably got a set of lungs on her, I bet."
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#641 - Breathing Expert James Nestor
"Camping is like being briefly Amish."
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[reference]
"A bridge is just a road that’s brave as f*ck."
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[reference]
"Well, I want like a fatter cat."
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#653 - Hannah Strickland
"But how could you pay attention if your eyes weren't even teammate like buddies or whatever?"
#15
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#651 - Ella Langley
"And then they'll know that no is just a turn. It's not a wall."
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#611 - Louis C.K.
"Why does my wife want to have pepper spray for black bears?"
#17
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#610 - Steven Rinella
"And I know that I've made money in my life now and it's different, but I'll never have money in my heart."
#18
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#609 - Chris Distefano
"Bro, I don't, you have to first of all fully believe in COVID to even get it."
#19
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#609 - Chris Distefano
"I like cows. They're warm."
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#648 - Vince Vaughn
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