[Theo Von Quotes]

[Quotes]

Quotes by Comedian Theo Von

"Well, I want like a fatter cat."

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#653 - Hannah Strickland

"He definitely seemed like he could just fix a flat tire with his tongue."

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#651 - Ella Langley

"But how could you pay attention if your eyes weren't even teammate like buddies or whatever?"

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#651 - Ella Langley

"On just a damn Mallard of a woman, you know?"

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#651 - Ella Langley

"Oh, he'll just RIP an omelette. Out of a chicken's ass."

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#651 - Ella Langley

"It's just nice when people laugh. I feel OK, yeah."

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#651 - Ella Langley

"She looks like a nice beautiful duck blind I feel like."

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#651 - Ella Langley

"That's fucking grooming bro."

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#649 - Nate Diaz & Chris Avila

"So it's I think you're right about instead of like out there metal detecting, maybe stay home and work on the magnet a little bit."

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#648 - Vince Vaughn

"I like cows. They're warm."

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#648 - Vince Vaughn

"Just knocking up people and just blasting rockets in the people and in the space."

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#647 - Dr. Peter McCullough

"Shout out Guinea pigs, all of them."

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#647 - Dr. Peter McCullough

"You can't buy an island."

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"He's the lady boy. I mean, he's a ladies man."

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"This is a horrible conversation to be in, dude."

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"They call him Baby Snicker because he was chocolate and nuts."

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"Oh, is it like Rascal Flatts? Yes, I look like that lesbian lady from Rascal Flatts actually pull me back up."

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#642 - James Li

"The musician Sidney Sweeney, who's probably got a set of lungs on her, I bet."

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#641 - Breathing Expert James Nestor

"I'm hitchhike here. Handsome."

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#640 - Chris Hemsworth

"I'm realizing that you're like a smart guy stuck in a good looking guy."

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#640 - Chris Hemsworth

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